Life changes...

Life changes as we grow. It changes in many ways. When we are young it is a lot easier to know what you want to do. You had a clarity and you knew a finite number of things and it was very easy to pick what you liked doing. I mostly liked playing cricket so that’s exactly what I did. I either played cricket or waited till the time I played cricket. I was fond of all sorts of games infact. Video games were awesome. I never owned the kinds that could be connected to a tv and played. Thankfully I had cousins and friends who did own them and all afternoons of vacations went in playing double player tennis or mortal combat. Then it would be 4 pm and we would call other friends and hop onto our cycles and reach the ground as soon as possible to block the centre pitch. We played game after game till we wouldn’t see the ball anymore. we would go home completely drenched in the sweat from the Chennai heat and eat some snack that would be waiting for us and then go on to play under arm cricket in the vacant apartment on top of ours or play cards till wee hours of the night. We all loved playing and that’s what we did, played.

As I grew up the concept of doing something I like got whopped. Even if liked doing something I could only do it in moderation because doing something in moderation is an expression of sanity. This was something I never had to worry about before. So many things we now indulge in is an expectation of somebody we know or owe something to. Subconsciously it has become an expectation we have set for ourselves. Simple things no longer provide joy because we are forced to derive joy out of mainstream activities which we don’t necessarily add joy to our lives. It is so sad that today I sit and think as to what is the one thing I’d like to do now and I can’t think of anything.